Ep.76 – Five Things Dad’s Do Pt.2
In the second installment of the “5 Things Dads Do That Push Their Sons Away” series on the Empowering Choices Podcast, hosts Joshua, Erik, and Lucas explore the detrimental impact of being overly critical. The episode begins with a poignant example from Erik, who describes a UFC fighter’s experience of winning a championship only to receive criticism from his father instead of congratulations. This story illustrates the episode’s theme: the deep psychological impact of parental criticism on children, even into adulthood. Erik shares another example involving a young soccer player who, despite winning games, faced critical comments from her parents about her performance. “You know what I’m like. What would you like? You know. And she told her parents, I just like you to just tell me I did a good job,” Erik recounts, highlighting the child’s need for affirmation rather than criticism. This narrative is reinforced with discussions on the broader cultural context, where criticism is often mistakenly seen as beneficial without consideration of its emotional impact. The hosts discuss the importance of balancing criticism with praise. Erik emphasizes the need for parents to leave critical feedback to coaches, who are trained to deliver it constructively. He notes, “Even coaches know the good ones that you can’t just, you know, drill right in on a person as to what you should have done.” The conversation turns to the academic pressure placed on children, with Erik mentioning the unrealistic expectations set by parents regarding grades and their children’s future success. Lucas shares insights into his own parenting experience, reflecting on the emotional reasoning of children and the importance of not overburdening them with expectations. He provides a personal anecdote about his daughter’s dramatic reactions to everyday setbacks, illustrating how young children can benefit from positive reinforcement rather than criticism. The episode concludes with a broader discussion on the societal norms that shape parenting behaviors, particularly the tendency of fathers to focus on achievements without celebrating the small victories. Joshua and Erik discuss the importance of reevaluating one’s parenting approach, especially if it mirrors unhelpful patterns from one’s own upbringing. The podcast episode serves as a call to action for parents to foster a more supportive and understanding environment that recognizes and celebrates their children’s accomplishments.
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